Crumb, Library, Memoir

Crumb – I’ve become Southernized. Kind of.

Cookie crumbs

I can’t believe it and am loath the admit it, but I have become Southernized. Not that I’ve bought a machine gun or have purchased a truck with eight-foot-tall tires, but regarding something much more important: the heat.

Regular readers know that I hail from just south of Seattle, where a nice winter day is forty degrees with no rain and a pleasant summer day is seventy degrees with no rain. Here in sunny South Carolina-“it’s like a vacation every day!” my wife says-a nice winter day is seventy with no rain and a pleasant summer day is 105 degrees with no rain.

Nice is relative. But I caught myself today opening the back door to the screened-in porch and propping it open.

“I really like the sounds of the outside and the breeze blowing through, I told my wife. “And just to make sure we’re not spending money trying to cool the outside, I’ll turn the AC up to 78.

SEVENTY-EIGHT.

For you math types, that’s almost 80, at which point I die in Seattle. And there’s not even any humidity in Seattle. Now-weirdly- it’s livable.

Ouch.

Maybe I should rethink my plans to move back to upstate New York and bask in six months of snow and sub-thirty. I might be too Southern for that now.